


Pride for Quarter Demons

by LasEstrellasdelPurgatorio



Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Coming Out, F/M, General Dante Shenanigans, Insecure Nero, Open Relationships, Pansexual Character, Some angst, Trolling, supportive friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:08:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24953551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LasEstrellasdelPurgatorio/pseuds/LasEstrellasdelPurgatorio
Summary: Nero needs to confess something; hopefully it wont be to the murder of his coworkers.
Relationships: Dante & Nero (Devil May Cry), Kyrie/Nero (Devil May Cry), Lady & Nero (Devil May Cry), Morrison & Nero (Devil May Cry), Nero & Trish (Devil May Cry), Patty Lowell & Nero
Kudos: 15





	Pride for Quarter Demons

**Author's Note:**

> Another coming out fic for a character based on my own headcanons! I'll try to have something different out in the future.

_Okay._

_You can do this._

_It’s just your boss, your…other boss(?), their colleague, information broker and some random kid who just hangs out at a dusty shop full of weirdos dressed like they’re a bunch of goddamn exhibitionists- OKAY! What the fuck is my life right now?!_

Still standing in front of the building with the obnoxious neon sign bearing it’s owner’s silhouette, Nero takes a minute to gather his thoughts about just how ridiculous his life has gotten since the psycho in the red coat dropped from the sky and shot the demon pope and continue on with his day, resolving to get what he’s come to do over with.

And if he’s fired, well…fuck them, he’ll get by.

He doesn’t need them.

…

He doesn’t.

Opening the door, he’s welcomed enthusiastically by Patty and more laxly by Trish, he walks in, passing Morrison shaking his head at the sight of Lady yelling at Dante for…who even knows anymore? They probably don’t even know.

Stopping in the middle of the sitting area, clearing his throat, shoving down the insecurities that constantly threaten to take over his mind with his aggression, he gets the attention of the office.

“What is it, Kid?” The owner in only name questions.

“Don’t call me-forget it.” He calms the instinctual urge to try and sock the bastard for the accursed nickname (which Dante would dodge because _of course he can_ , ‘cause he’s fucking _great_ and Nero’s just-), saving it for when he’ll need it, and continues, “Look…there’s…somethin’ I gotta tell you guys.”

Even though he doesn’t think he has to, it doesn’t concern them, they don’t need to know. But Kyrie said he needed to, and he can’t say, “No,” to her, and she thinks they’re good people, because, yeah, she’s a saint, she’s with _him_ after all. And he doesn’t _need_ them in his life ( _ ~~He wants them, he doesn’t want to lose anyone else~~_ ).

“What’s up?” Patty asks, intrigued.

Ignoring the urge to scratch his nose and look away at the attention, he continues, “Lately, me and Kyrie have been talking, and, well…we’ve…found some stuff out.”

“Nero, it was an accident.” Patty blurts out immediately.

“…What?”

“It was just my first time in your apartment, and I wanted to see how filthy a boy’s room was, and that DVD is so rare to find, and I just put lotion on my hands and the case slid out while I had it open, so-”

“ _YOU’RE_ THE ONE WHO CRACKED MY COPY OF _BAKI THE GRAPPLER_?! IT WAS A COMPLETE RUN, YOU BITCH!”

“Hey!” Dante pipes up, “We do NOT use that word in here! Unless it’s about Lady and _sometimes_ Trish! And I’m the only one that gets to use it, brat!” This swiftly earns him a bullet and to the head from Lady and a “That’s fair,” from Trish.

“I’m sorry!” Patty grovels, begging for forgiveness, “I never saw the first series, just the Netflix one!”

“DO YOU HAVE _ANY_ IDEA HOW HARD IT WAS TO GET THAT SMUGGLED INTO FORTUNA?!”

“I’ll pay you back as soon as I can, I promise!” Patty begs, on her knees.

Willing himself calm, he tries to continue what he was saying, “Anyways, me and Kyrie have…learned some… _stuff_ about ourselves.”

“Nero. It’s okay.” Lady reassures him.

“Lady?”

“If you two are finally ready to quit being associated with Dante, that’s normal, we all go through that about six times a year at minimum, it’s nothing new.” She tells him with a straight look on her face.

“…What the fu…”

“Hey!” Dante yells again, “…That’s fair,” he concedes, parroting Trish.

“If you ASSHOLES could SHUT UP FOR FIVE GODDAMN SECONDS!” He yells out, getting fed up with everyone’s collective bullshit.

After a pause, he continues, “What I wanted to say was-”

_“You two like streaking at the blind kids’ school.”_

…

Gathering the attention of everyone else, Trish continues, “You said five seconds, I waited. Plus, it’s not like anyone but you two would know.”

“You fuckin’-”

“No, no, no,” Dante says, jumping in, because the bastard’s mission in life seems to be making Nero’s hell, “They just found out they’re the heirs to an Italian crime syndicate.”

“ _I am going to_ -”

“The reincarnations of a pair of tragic lovers doomed by fate?” Trish suggests, moving to sit on Dante’s desk.

“If you two don’t shut up-”

“You both have weird birthmarks that’ll lead to Grandpop’s lost treasure?” Dante buts in, seeming to revel in Nero’s face scrunching up in anger.

“If you two say ONE more stupid thing, I will-”

“You two are buying us ice cream?!” Dante and Trish say in sync, cheeks pressing into each other, the smiles on their faces growing with the rage on his.

“GAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!” And he probably would have launched himself at them if Lady hadn’t knocked him down, while Dante and Trish fall down, rolling while laughing on the floor, Lady unloading clips into both of them.

“You two,” Morrison cuts in, leveling Dante and Trish with a stare, “Shut your damn mouths and let the boy speak.”

“Fine…” They mutter, pouting like the six-year-olds they really are.

Finally calming down, Nero manages to make words again after a few deep breaths once Lady helps him back up.

“What I wanted to say is…” He stops, taking another breath, because he’s angry ( _ ~~scared~~_ ) “Kyrie and I are…we’re…we’re not straight.”

…

_Someone say something._

“We love each other, but…there’s other people we want to have…sex with, and…the majority of people I’ve been looking at are…Kyrie likes girls too, and, and I like…guys.”

_~~Please don’t make me leave.~~ _

…

“…You _whore_!” Dante yells out, climbing onto his desk, “I give you a job and you bring your filthy queer shit into my shop! For shame! _I HAVE NO TRAINEE!_ ” He screams in his trying too hard voice, arms going in all directions.

“Oh Lawdy!” Lady screams out, fainting in a way that’s clearly been rehearsed, stopping in the middle of it to move to a better spot to fall onto.

“Oh, give me strength, Enki,” Trish calls to the heavens, paper cross in her hands, releasing a burning smell into the air.

“I hate this gay place!” Patty screams, ripping a sheet of paper she clearly brought for this occasion.

“…What the fuck?” He whispers in sheer confusion.

“BE REBORN AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS!” Dante screams, flinging the contents of a beer bottle around, “MAZEL TOV!”

“Praise the Buddha,” Trish agrees, hands still burning.

“…” _Is this what an aneurysm feels like?_

“Alright, y’all,” Morrison finally cuts in, taking pity on Nero in his state of utter shock at their stupidity, “That’s enough.”

“… _Man.”_ Dante whines, “I was just about to start talking ‘bout how Zeus started Hanukkah to stop Tiamat from killing the Romans!”

“Dante…” Patty starts, recovering rather quickly, “No…just, no.”

“Fine…” Dante finally concedes.

“Yeah,” Lady agrees, getting up, chuckling at Dante’s pouting face, “It was fun, but give Nero a break.”

“Okay, okay, stop naggin’ me!”

“What…” Nero starts, once he regained the ability to speak, “What the _fuck_ is wrong with you people?” He asks, still disoriented from the raw stupidity he’s witnessed.

“Kid, we do _not_ have the time in the day to go over our collective bullshit in a way that will ever make sense to you.”

“…That’s fair.” Third time’s a charm.

“Anyways,” Dante starts again, “Okay.”

“Huh?”

“If that’s how ya’ are, it’s how ya’ are.”

“Uh…”

“Yeah,” Morrison agrees, “Compared to the usual business, ain’t that big of a deal.”

“We’re a very open-minded bunch here.” Trish declares, arms nearly reduced to ash at this point.

“Trish, doesn’t that hurt you?” Patty asks, slightly worried.

“Extremely.”

“Then put it down!”

“Okay,” She responds just as the remains of her arms dissolve onto the ground, the cross going with them, “Done.”

This earns her an eye roll from Patty.

“So,” Nero starts, “We’re…okay?”

“I’m so proud of you!” Patty squeals, running to squeeze his waist with the fuckin’ spine breakers she calls arms ( _ ~~that doesn’t mean stop~~_ ), “I am going to get you _so much_ gear to wear around town-OOH! I’m gonna take you and Kyrie to the next pride parade! No arguments!”

“Uhh…”

“Tell Kyrie to come over to my place if she wants advice about women,” Lady advises.

“Yes!” Dante agrees, “Lady’s place at…” He starts, gesturing for her to continue.

“Nice try.”

“Damn it.”

“You guys are,” Nero begins, “taking this _way_ better than I thought.”

“Well, yeah!” Patty interjects, looking up, “We’re not like those intolerant, self-righteous cult incels you two used to live with!”

“The floorshow begged to differ.” He finally manages to snark out, the ability to use sarcasm returning to his brain.

“Ugh, Dante, I told you it was a bad idea!”

“It was _hilarious_ ,” the senior citizen counters.

“Wait, what?” Nero asks.

“Oh,” Lady pipes in, “Before you got here, Kyrie called us to let us know you were going to try coming out; she was worried you’d lose your nerve, so she told us to make sure you got to that level of pissed off where you feel like you can do anything; the stage play was Dante’s idea, sorry, he really sold us on it.”

…

_Should I be worried Kyrie knows me this well?_

…

_Nah._

“So…”

“Just follow the rainbow to your heart, kiddo!” Dante declares, one foot on his desk, flashing a thumbs up at Nero.

“… _Shut the hell up, Dante.”_

“There he is, there’s our boy!”

“Who’s proper identification we will do more research for later!” Patty states, flashing a thumbs up back at Dante.

“Alright, now all y’all stop sittin’ around and start workin’!” Morrison demands.

“Ugh…” Dante groans, going back to his chair to flop his head onto the desk.

“My cue to leave.” Lady states, heading out, stopping to briefly pat Nero’s head with a smile on her face.

“Fine.” Trish concedes, crossing her newly restored arms behind her head.

“I don’t work here!” Patty whines, finally releasing Nero only to lead him by the hand to the couch.

_It’s nice._

The people here are _so_ fucked up.

But, at least their way doesn’t hurt anyone.

“Patty?”

“Yes?”

“Did you actually crack my DVD?”

“…Yes.”

“That’s coming out of your next six allowances.”

“That’s fair.”

**Author's Note:**

> I can't really ship Nero or Kyrie with anyone else, but I do honestly see them both as pansexuals in an open relationship. Also, a reference to bisexual Lady!


End file.
